letting some balls drop

eleven months ago i left my “conventional” job. i lived on a school calendar. if anything, it was predictable.

7:30 punch in-3:30 punch out. meetings on mondays. report cards quarterly. fall break, winter break, spring and summer breaks for travel. repeat.

all in all, a straight forward schedule.

since exiting this as a full-time position, i wondered how i would fill my time. my early months in luang prabang felt like an extenion of a holiday. i’d happliy strap on my backpack to discover a new internet location, order a cafe latte and pain au chocolat while drifting in and out of websites and blogs. i wrote a lot and felt inspired by the rain, the robed monks, the pace of life here.

it didn’t take long for reality to knock me upside the head. this wasn’t an extended holiday; not a sabbatical. it was a change of life. while my surroundings changed, my needs didn’t.

i needed work. i needed to be able to pay for daily things without seeing my savings dwindle. i needed to feel some sort of security and productivity.

what has resulted months later has been a crash course into freelancing and creative entrepreneurial-ism . for years i had been craving freedom to explore other skills. i ached to wiggle out of the confines of schedules; i wanted to be my own boss.

little by little, opportunities have revealed themselves and i currently find myself juggling about eight projects. yes, eight. some are in writing, some design, some in education. and while i have struggled with how to prioritize and create my own schedule, i am finding joy in the expansion of myself.

it won’t last though. the switching from one mode to another. plus, i juggle poorly. i know that maintaining space for my marriage, my family, and myself is extremely crucial to my happiness. some balls will have to drop and that’s ok. for now, i am grateful to see them all circling in the air.