the question that turned it around


It’s been four months since we moved to Laos. At times, it has felt much, much longer. There were the sleepless nights, the bouts of culture shock. An undercurrent of- what the eff are we doing?-knocked us over when our feet were not firmly planted, when fear got the better of us.

I will not say that this experience brought out the most romantic sides of Craig and me. We did not skip into town, holding hands, after long talks about the future. To be honest, it was rough. We questioned ourselves as individuals and our goals as a couple.

This can be a lonely place in a marriage.

But, something happened not too long ago. We were asked a simple question that changed everything: What would you do if you knew you could not fail? 


Taking failure out of the life equation feels funny; strange. It’s like skydiving off a plane and being guaranteed that the parachute will open, no risk of defect, no chance of getting injured. If this were true, there would be many more of us jumping out of planes. If we were certain we’d succeed in whatever we endeavored, what wouldn’t we try?

The word FAILURE is large and heavy in our society. Often it’s what keeps us from starting anything in the first place. No one wants to drag that word around. But, what if we took the weight out of it? What if not having a particular outcome is simply that? Going with what comes from diverted expectations and learning from it is so much greater.

Failure can also be an impetus; a motivator; a way to success.

It took a few seconds for the answer to spill out of our lips: we’d open a yoga studio, work in interior design, have a home in California while living in Laos part-time with a child (and dog) in tow. 

Spending a moment to acknowledge where we currently are in life, it dawned on us that we have made decisions that position us toward these goals. We realized that what mostly got in the way of us was ourselves. We resonated with the positive feeling that we are on the path for us.

We don’t know if it will all work out as we envision. But, it’s the acting on goals and values regardless of guarantees that makes a difference.

{image credit}

  1. marcy said:

    You are on the right path amiga…. just allow yourself to step into your greatness. You are inspiring! !

  2. Thank you, Marcy. I appreciate your words very much.

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